


Reflections

by AvatarQuake



Series: This is how it starts [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: (it's secretly jealousy), F/M, Gen, Missing Scene, POV Phil Coulson, S1, pure introspection, unidentified feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 01:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5228243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvatarQuake/pseuds/AvatarQuake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'It hadn't been a good day.'</p>
<p>Coulson reflects on the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> This is a look into Coulson's head after giving Skye the tracking bracelet.

It hadn't been a good day.An agent was dead.A gifted innocent man was dead.Centipede was still at large.And Coulson was somewhere between guilt and grief and self-pity.Or it could be self-anger.He didn't know.What he did know,it was ugly.

He knew something was up when Skye didn't finish what she was saying about Miles Lydon.It was why he had May tail her in the first place.It meant she knew him.

(Of course she knew him,Phil.They are,were?,both Rising Tide members.)

He had expected that,he admits.

The rest,well.Coulson decided it was best for his sanity not to dwel on.

(He swears,it's not jealousy, _it's not_.She's Skye and therefore he believes she deserves the world,already.)

He isn't disappointed with her.Couldn't be.She told him everything in the end,took the second chance he gave her,wondering if she noticed that he'd have let her go untagged if she didn't.

He is,though,thoroughly disappointed with himself.

Because,obviously,being easy to talk to,even confine to,doesn't mean easy to trust completely.And it's not something he doesn't know,either.He knew that.He just, _hoped_ ,that Skye would know instictively that he really did have her back.

And her quest to find who she is,or more like who she could have been,was proving his gut right.It was greater than an inside hack.And it wasn't about getting secrets out.Just getting back a secret that belonged to her.

If he was truthful with himself tonight,he'd rather be sitting with her in the back of the SUV,like they did four days ago.

And here was the crux of one part of his self-negativity;it's been twenty days since they met.

Coulson frowned.

He wasn't used to getting attatched to others so quickly.There were,of course,a couple of exceptions,and his last one thinks he is six feet under,but normally?No.Even his friends,people he've known and worked with for years,they'd have to turn and stab him in his heart,so as he could explain this feeling,whatever the hell it was.

_'Maybe it's just Loki's Chitauri scepter.Getting stabbed almost to death with alien knives messes up your head.Or heart.Apparently.'_ he thought grimly.

His other problem is tomorrow.He really can't stay mad at her – he can still be with himself – but May and Ward would expect the strict professional from him.FitzSimmons have probably already forgiven her.

He wouldn't want to be in her shoes trying to get back to May's good side.And possibly neither Ward's.

Those two would drag it out for all eternity.

(Not really.They care for Skye,he's sure,but they may have a better grip on 'professionalism' than him these days.He doesn't mind about his lack of professionalism around Skye.)

And so,here he is,finally returning to his office,after hiding away in a dark corner of the Bus for over two hours.

Coulson stares at the empty box on his desk and the chair she was sitting before he left her alone to make her decision.He sighs,loosening his tie and falling heavily on that same chair.

Maybe he should get a drink before trying to fall asleep tonight.It _had_ been a bad – and long – day,after all.

He sighed again.

His thoughts go back to Skye then and yes, _no_ ,he doesn't need the drink tonight.He's probably going to need it tomorrow.

 


End file.
